The Storm.

I feel like Mental health is like the weather. When the sun is shining or it’s just a genuinely beautiful day, you may be having the best day mentally, your anxiety is at bay or you’ve actually made it out of bed. But when the weather changes, whether that is in the same day as the sunshine, it rains, but when it rains it pours. The rain resembles the negative thoughts, the over whelming feeling of anxiety or your depression has hit an all time low. The rain lingers, turns to thunder, then lightning but still continues to rain. You feel there is no rainbow in sight.

When you feel you have your mental health under control whatever that may be, if you’re like me I am just waiting for that rain to fall on a sunny day. Imagine this, it’s your day off you wake up early you actually feel refreshed for the first time since you can remember. You proceed with the usual routine, as soon as you sit there and be silent with your thoughts, you realise “okay, so I’m in a good mood. Amazing for the first time in a while. But why?? Why am I in a good mood?? This usually means something bad is going to happen. But when is it going to happen..” these questions rotate around my head like a hamster running as fast as it’s little legs can handle. This makes your beautiful sunny day turn to a massive storm in a matter of hours.

When I’m expecting this storm that I know for sure is brewing, I make myself panic, overthink every step I make. I feel vulnerable. I feel I’m letting everyone down around me, that I am treating people a way I would never want to be treated. I’m becoming the person I despise. I don’t feel the same.

I’m fully aware that the only person who can change these thoughts and feelings are myself. Instead of seeing all the negatives, try to see the positives. At the end of the day, I am lucky to be here today. Where I am in my life. But that’s the problem, when will I feel good enough or worthy enough?? Will I be able to overcome this stage in my life?? I ask the same questions multiple times a day. If I’ve not completed a task I should have completed, I feel I’ve let everyone down that I’m not worthy of this opportunity. If I’ve forgotten to do something that I promised to do, I feel I’ve let everyone down that no one will ever trust me.

2019 was suppose to be the year that I focused on myself. Focused on this, what you’re reading The World of Meg. But things have gotten in the way, I’m gonna just admit I’ve been struggling mentally with a lot of things. My Anxiety it 100% still present as much as I want it to magically disappear, but it won’t. If I ignore it, it’ll still be there tomorrow. I’ve felt so unmotivated. But I want to get back to writing. I have things I want to open up about but I need to fully accept I’m ready first. Time does heal but if you don’t face that fear of re-living that period of your life you won’t be able to over come it. It takes time. Don’t rush.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for being so patient with me.

Take care,

Meg xx

Mental Health.

It’s okay not to be okay.

 

I feel that this topic is very fitting for today, as it is World Suicide Prevention Day. I find it crazy how it is the 21st Century and there is still a huge stigma surrounding Mental Health. Mental illness can affect anybody, and the most unfortunate thing is that the majority of those who suffer, sadly stay silent. They feel like they can’t talk about how they are feeling, because you’re quick to think that that friend you haven’t seen in months is “unsociable” because they always cancel plans last minute with what you think is a “stupid excuse”, but you never think to double check whether they’re okay, or just say “that’s ok, I’m here if there is anything you want to talk about, let me know when you’re ready” instead you say “you never come out” or “stop being so boring, why do I bother”. I’m not saying that every friend who cancels plans last minute suffers from a mental health condition, I’m just saying if there is a pattern that seems to occur there may be something more than “being busy”.

It’s so important to start the conversation, to open that door to offer them your time. Whether it be via phone, in person or text. Sometimes just saying “I’m here for you whenever” means so much to them because you are someone they love, it gives them the opportunity to talk about how they are feeling. If your friend Susan has been a little quiet recently or acting differently start the conversation, it’s okay not to be okay.

At least 1 in 4 people will experience some sort of Mental Illness at some point in their life, whether that be OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Bipolar, Anxiety or Depression.

Suicide is the biggest killer in men under the age of 45. At least 84 men every week take their own lives to suicide every week, thats over 4,000 men every year! This figure needs to change!

Young women between the ages of 16 to 24 are almost three times more likely (26%) to experience a common mental health problem as their Male contemporaries (9%) and have higher rates of self harm, bipolar disorder and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

I think that as a whole we can all do something to help break the stigma surrounding mental illness. Whether that be speaking out about our own experiences or being there to help support your family and friends who may need that extra bit of your time as they may need someone to talk to.

For those who are struggling, please don’t suffer in silence. It’s important to speak to someone whether you speak to a friend, family member or healthcare professional, or there are loads of charities out there to offer help and support 24/7.

Please remember, it’s okay not to be okay you’re not ALONE.

Take care of yourself, its ok to be selfish sometimes x

Helpful charities:

(all info listed above, from NHS Mental Health Helplines)