Self Acceptance.

Self Acceptance means accepting yourself fully for the person you are.

It’s such an amazing thing to be able to fully accept yourself for who you are and not for who you wish to be. I mean don’t get me wrong I am still waiting for the right time to fully accept myself. I may never be content with myself, it may take years for me to be able to feel beautiful or at least mediocre, and to feel okay in my own skin. Like in my last post (Insecure – Body Image.) I touched on the way I feel about myself. I do wish I had the confidence in myself to do whatever I want to do. I subconsciously worry about the way I look more than I’d like to admit.

I feel this time of year, as Christmas is quickly approaching, people are trying to diet, lose some weight so they can indulge this holiday season. I feel like so many people feel so guilty for eating whatever the hell they want. Some may struggle to eat at Christmas in front of family as they may have had a bad experience in the past. You’re afraid to indulge in the chocolates, roast dinner just incase Auntie Jane you haven’t seen for years makes you feel insecure about how different you look since the last time you’ve seen her, scared she’ll say something about your weight or those little insecurities that ONLY you see when you look at yourself. In actual fact, she won’t say anything. But every time someone stares at you, you think that they’re thinking that you’ve got a hairy face or that your double chin is way too prominent.

Let me remind you that you’re perfectly fine! You’re beautiful. You’re strong and brave. Don’t ever feel bad for feeling beautiful. For some reason, women and men who call themselves beautiful are called selfish, self absorbed or “up themselves”. But in actual fact we need to build each other up rather than knocking ourselves down. Don’t ever feel guilty for thinking or saying you look beautiful, it isn’t a crime. Don’t just say it light heartedly, say it like you mean it, because you know, you really are BEAUTIFUL. Don’t ever let anyone say any different. Just because you don’t look like that girl that’s on your Insta feed. If someone tries to dim your light, don’t ever let them have a negative impact on the way you feel about yourself, don’t let that negative Nelly tell you how to feel about yourself. They’re probably extremely insecure about themselves. If you’re gonna change anything, make sure it’s for yourself, not for anyone else! I know this is so hard but, you really are beautiful inside and out.

If you take anything from this blog post, I just want you to feel that it’s ok to say you feel beautiful, because it’s true, you really are. I know it is hard to tell yourself, but I’m telling you now it is so true! You don’t need the layers of makeup, but if you feel most confident or beautiful with makeup on, so be it do whatever the hell you want because you know what you only have ONE life so live it! Surround yourself with people who care, and who make time for you and make an effort for you, get rid of the ones who drag you down!! It’s not worth your time. Take care of yourselves x

 

Ps. Im so sorry that I’ve missed weeks of uploading, I’ve had a bit of a writers block. But Im hoping to be back. I want to fully throw myself into this next year. Try my best to help either ONE or more people. Just remember you’re amazing and doing a great job, thank you for sticking with me xx

Loneliness

Isolation, abandonment, sadness…

The feeling of being isolated, you look at other peoples relationships and wish you had a friendship like theirs. Whether you’re recovering from a break up, or loss of friends I know how you feel, you’re not alone. I know you may feel like your suffocating yourself with the thoughts of longing to have a large group of friends. I’ve been there, and I’m here to tell you you’re not alone, and it’s normal to feel this way. I promise. The thing is, if we weren’t meant to feel lonely, we wouldn’t even know there was such feeling.

Even the one person you think has it all, from what you see is that they have a large group of friends, they seem happy, they have a house they live comfortably, all the things you long to have in your life. However, they could be the one who feel they have no one, they could go home and cry themselves to sleep, they don’t talk about it because they feel that they don’t have the right to feel this way. Which in fact (again), it’s ok to feel this way.

I remember, I left school at 16 and went straight into work whilst all of my “friend(s)” stayed in school for sixth form. I feel when this happens, you seem to go your separate ways, oh and you find out the truth of what your so called friends have said about you behind your back. Going straight to work after finishing school has made me such a different person. Even though I’ve lost so many people on this journey, I’ve also gained some proper friends along the way. I think sometimes you need to be in a bad place to actually appreciate the good things. I went through a stage just over a year ago, where I was in a job which at the time I didn’t realise was making me so negative, it was such a toxic work place my mental health spiralled, I went into a deep hole which was just (what it felt) Myself, loneliness and crazy anxiety. I woke up, anxious and sad, and I went to sleep crying and anxious. I was always just drained from energy from the amount of effort it took to even wash my hair, all the simple tasks seemed the hardest. I would go into work for 8:30 even though my shift didn’t start until 10, just because if I stayed home I would be in a state and would make myself sick from the thought of leaving the house, the thought that if I spoke to my manager I didn’t know whether she would rip my head off or reply in a polite tone (you can guess what would happen majority of the time). After working there for two years, I knew I needed to leave so I applied for a job in a Hospital Pharmacy, in which I can now say I’m happy with work. I wake up in the morning not dreading going into work, my managers are both lovely and I know I can speak to them when I need help. I can say good morning to them and they’ll be willing to have a conversation with me, I no longer need to walk on egg shells.

As well as being content with my job, I have finally found true friends, that I trust and I hope that they trust me too(you know who you are). What I’ve learnt is that you don’t have to have a large group of friends to feel happy and accepted, I only have a handful of friends and if I’m honest I do feel that I prefer it. The thing is as long as you treat people the way you want to be treated you will gain a huge amount of respect from those who are willing to spend their time with you, and if they don’t, you shouldn’t waste your precious time and energy on them. You’re worthy of living a happy and healthy life!

So the moral of this story/blog post, is that its okay to feel lonely, but I beg you please speak to someone, it’s important to tell someone how you’re feeling. Being stuck in this isolating bubble on your own is not nice, I would never wish it on my worst enemy. If you feel like you have no friends, I’ll be your friend. You’re not alone!

Remember: Take care of yourself, it’s ok to be selfish sometimes x

Anxiety

It’s not just the feeling of butterflies before you go into an interview. It’s the constant disbelief, the nauseous feeling that sits at the pit of your stomach for no reason. You could wake up on Sunday morning, feel fine, get ready and as soon as you go to leave the house, it hits you like a ton of bricks. The worst possible thoughts circling around your head. What if I leave my hair straighteners on? Did I lock the back door? Did I leave my lights on? What if I forget my keys? What if I see someone who doesn’t like me? What if I see someone who I know? What if my friend is late? I will look ridiculous waiting for her!! They consistently circle around and around. Like a dull headache that won’t go away, you feel trapped like there is no way out, which then can trigger you to start panicking. It leads you to turn around and head straight back up to your room because that’s classed as your safe haven.

Even though you are back in your safe place, it still doesn’t stop all the negative thoughts going round and round your head like your stuck on a rollercoaster with no end. This is when the sickness worsens, your chest tightens, which causes you to lose your breathe, you try to remind yourself to breathe but those thoughts are out weighed by all the uneasy thoughts. Breathe, it’ll be ok, you try to remind yourself every second. This can last from an hour to a day, a week or even a month. You know you need to control the thoughts, but thats easier said than done. You feel no one understands why you’ve had to cancel plans that day because you physically couldn’t leave the house. Anxiety is crippling, you second guess every move, you find it hard to make decisions on your own.

If you’ve done something wrong, you over analyse the situation. You worry about what people think of you. When you meet someone new your anxiety is telling you that they are judging you and that they can’t even be bothered to talk to you, but you don’t see that that person who is talking to you actually thinks you’re a great person. You never seem to understand why you feel this way but the thoughts just take over! You’re trapped in this cycle which seems never ending. I promise you that it will get better, baby steps, talk to someone about the way you’re feeling. I know how you feel, I’ve been here, I can’t say I’m fully out of this place because if I said that I was I would be lying. I want you to know if you’re dealing with these thoughts DAILY it’s so important to talk about it, you never know your best friend could be dealing with the same thing but again, feels like they can’t talk to anyone. You could be that ONE person who starts the conversation to help them out, I promise it’ll help you in the long run.

In 2013, there were 8.2 million cases of anxiety in the UK, this is a crazy amount considering this is only from those who have opened up about their mental health. 75% of young people who are diagnosed with a mental health disorder are NOT receiving treatment, due to the lack of funding and research surrounding mental health.

Anxiety and all mental health conditions need to be taken seriously. The main thing I want you to take from this is that, again it’s okay to say you need help, this shows that you understand you have a problem that needs to be taken care of. Also, if you feel your friend is having a tough time, offer them your time, I promise they’ll really appreciate it.

I just wanted to add a massive thank you for all the support from my last blog post, I cannot believe the amount of feedback I’ve had from it. The fact that you guys have taken time out of your day to read it and to even share it, it means the world to me!! I cannot thank you all enough. Much love to you all xx

 

(Anxiety UK – http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk )

Mental Health.

It’s okay not to be okay.

 

I feel that this topic is very fitting for today, as it is World Suicide Prevention Day. I find it crazy how it is the 21st Century and there is still a huge stigma surrounding Mental Health. Mental illness can affect anybody, and the most unfortunate thing is that the majority of those who suffer, sadly stay silent. They feel like they can’t talk about how they are feeling, because you’re quick to think that that friend you haven’t seen in months is “unsociable” because they always cancel plans last minute with what you think is a “stupid excuse”, but you never think to double check whether they’re okay, or just say “that’s ok, I’m here if there is anything you want to talk about, let me know when you’re ready” instead you say “you never come out” or “stop being so boring, why do I bother”. I’m not saying that every friend who cancels plans last minute suffers from a mental health condition, I’m just saying if there is a pattern that seems to occur there may be something more than “being busy”.

It’s so important to start the conversation, to open that door to offer them your time. Whether it be via phone, in person or text. Sometimes just saying “I’m here for you whenever” means so much to them because you are someone they love, it gives them the opportunity to talk about how they are feeling. If your friend Susan has been a little quiet recently or acting differently start the conversation, it’s okay not to be okay.

At least 1 in 4 people will experience some sort of Mental Illness at some point in their life, whether that be OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Bipolar, Anxiety or Depression.

Suicide is the biggest killer in men under the age of 45. At least 84 men every week take their own lives to suicide every week, thats over 4,000 men every year! This figure needs to change!

Young women between the ages of 16 to 24 are almost three times more likely (26%) to experience a common mental health problem as their Male contemporaries (9%) and have higher rates of self harm, bipolar disorder and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

I think that as a whole we can all do something to help break the stigma surrounding mental illness. Whether that be speaking out about our own experiences or being there to help support your family and friends who may need that extra bit of your time as they may need someone to talk to.

For those who are struggling, please don’t suffer in silence. It’s important to speak to someone whether you speak to a friend, family member or healthcare professional, or there are loads of charities out there to offer help and support 24/7.

Please remember, it’s okay not to be okay you’re not ALONE.

Take care of yourself, its ok to be selfish sometimes x

Helpful charities:

(all info listed above, from NHS Mental Health Helplines)