Self Acceptance.

Self Acceptance means accepting yourself fully for the person you are.

It’s such an amazing thing to be able to fully accept yourself for who you are and not for who you wish to be. I mean don’t get me wrong I am still waiting for the right time to fully accept myself. I may never be content with myself, it may take years for me to be able to feel beautiful or at least mediocre, and to feel okay in my own skin. Like in my last post (Insecure – Body Image.) I touched on the way I feel about myself. I do wish I had the confidence in myself to do whatever I want to do. I subconsciously worry about the way I look more than I’d like to admit.

I feel this time of year, as Christmas is quickly approaching, people are trying to diet, lose some weight so they can indulge this holiday season. I feel like so many people feel so guilty for eating whatever the hell they want. Some may struggle to eat at Christmas in front of family as they may have had a bad experience in the past. You’re afraid to indulge in the chocolates, roast dinner just incase Auntie Jane you haven’t seen for years makes you feel insecure about how different you look since the last time you’ve seen her, scared she’ll say something about your weight or those little insecurities that ONLY you see when you look at yourself. In actual fact, she won’t say anything. But every time someone stares at you, you think that they’re thinking that you’ve got a hairy face or that your double chin is way too prominent.

Let me remind you that you’re perfectly fine! You’re beautiful. You’re strong and brave. Don’t ever feel bad for feeling beautiful. For some reason, women and men who call themselves beautiful are called selfish, self absorbed or “up themselves”. But in actual fact we need to build each other up rather than knocking ourselves down. Don’t ever feel guilty for thinking or saying you look beautiful, it isn’t a crime. Don’t just say it light heartedly, say it like you mean it, because you know, you really are BEAUTIFUL. Don’t ever let anyone say any different. Just because you don’t look like that girl that’s on your Insta feed. If someone tries to dim your light, don’t ever let them have a negative impact on the way you feel about yourself, don’t let that negative Nelly tell you how to feel about yourself. They’re probably extremely insecure about themselves. If you’re gonna change anything, make sure it’s for yourself, not for anyone else! I know this is so hard but, you really are beautiful inside and out.

If you take anything from this blog post, I just want you to feel that it’s ok to say you feel beautiful, because it’s true, you really are. I know it is hard to tell yourself, but I’m telling you now it is so true! You don’t need the layers of makeup, but if you feel most confident or beautiful with makeup on, so be it do whatever the hell you want because you know what you only have ONE life so live it! Surround yourself with people who care, and who make time for you and make an effort for you, get rid of the ones who drag you down!! It’s not worth your time. Take care of yourselves x

 

Ps. Im so sorry that I’ve missed weeks of uploading, I’ve had a bit of a writers block. But Im hoping to be back. I want to fully throw myself into this next year. Try my best to help either ONE or more people. Just remember you’re amazing and doing a great job, thank you for sticking with me xx

Insecure – Body Image.

This week I thought I would change up the topic. Lately I’ve been so consumed in the feeling of not looking or feeling good enough, whether that is what I look like, or how I’ve acted towards people that I love. I’ve come to the point where I can (most of the time) accept the fact that its ok to feel this way. When I’m out, or even in work I have the constant thought that when I see people I haven’t seen in ages, that I have put a huge amount of weight on since they’ve last seen me, and that they can see it. I know that I shouldn’t think this way but I can’t help it. Also, when someone is standing by the side of me, I feel that they are staring at all my imperfections from my side profile. Sometimes it takes over my whole thought process. I know it is a personal thing but I can’t help it.

I’ve never been skinny, as much as I long to be comfortable in my own skin. I wish to have a slim, toned body which I perceive as perfect, but again I subconsciously know that there is no such thing as perfect. Some days are worst than others, sometimes I’ll get ready to go out, put jeans on and a top (the usual) and just feel awful, no confidence (not that I have any anyway), I just want to get straight into pyjamas and roll into bed and hide, I don’t want people to see me in the ‘state’ that I’m in. The worst part is when clothes shopping, whether that is in store or receiving a parcel from an online retailer. And again I know that all sizes are different depending on where you go, but it still knocks your self esteem massively. When I try clothes on that are my size but don’t fit from certain retailers, I get really upset, (I’m gonna get really honest now) it makes me feel so insecure that I just want to hide, close my eyes and go to sleep to escape from this feeling. I know that close family to me have said, when they’ve seen me try a coat on from a shop I’ve never bought from before, and put it on and it doesn’t fit. It’s that instant sickness feeling when you realise that you cannot escape from the shame of it not fitting. Or when you go into a high street store and you’re looking for an outfit for an occasion which implies you’ll have to try it on, you grab your size and trot off to the dressing room, you try it on and your in the same position, it doesn’t fit. You’re surrounded by mirrors showing every lump and bump, stretch mark or scar that you have. It’s such an overwhelming feeling that just shifts your mood.

Social media has such a massive strain on topics like this. When I was maybe 12 or 13 I joined Instagram, this was when it was a massive thing, everyone had it in school so I knew I needed it to fit in. Sounds so stupid but that’s what I thought, it was when you had the popular page, you could go on there and search users, but most importantly you would see who had the most likes on their photos. As you can imagine, 13 year old me thought this was the next best thing, which in actual fact was probably the worst thing for my confidence and self esteem, well I suppose it’s the same as all social networking sites, you only see the highlights of those people who live behind the lens, because lets face it, no one would want to see the lowest points because you won’t get as much attention, and that’s all that seems to matter on these sites. The most popular photos always where the ones with men or women with perfect physique, no spots, nothing out of place of what may think ‘perfect’ but what we don’t know, is that that person behind the lens may not (probably doesn’t) look as flawless and perfect in real life, but it doesn’t matter what that person is like from the outside or through a lens, its what they are like as a person. Influencers who post photos on social media platforms for a living, are more than likely to only and I repeat only post the highlights from their day, or even ‘ads’ so they can earn some extra cash. Which again I understand because again, brands/public don’t want to see the down side of people’s day/life. I suppose that you only expose yourself to things like this from following, liking or searching photos like this. Don’t get me wrong I love Instagram but I can see the downfall of that area, it’s a way of looking back on events that mean a lot to you.

I know that this blog post has been a little different from my others, it has definitely been a hard one for me to write. I really appreciate you all being so patient with me as I haven’t posted for the last couple of weeks. I’ve needed to sort a couple of things out with myself, before writing these posts. But I’m back with a few ideas under my sleeve. Look out for more posts. Thank you for all being so supportive through his journey, I want to help people not feel so isolated, I want people to understand that it’s normal to feel a certain way. Love you all so much.

Take care of yourselves xoxo